Chapter 15 - THE COST OF FREE HELP
We finally calculated what Mother had contributed to my household after Elin died.
Childcare hours.
Meals.
School rides.
Emergency nights.
If paid commercially?
A lot.
Did that mean I owed guardianship?
No.
But it explained Mother’s sense of ownership.
She once told me:
“I gave you two years of my life.”
I answered:
“You gave Ione a grandmother.”
“And what did I get?”
The question stunned me.
“Her love.”
Mother laughed bitterly.
“That disappears when you move.”
There.
She feared relationship was conditional on geography.
Instead of trusting love, she tried to secure access legally.
Then financial discovery in the guardianship case showed no hidden money motive.
Mother had not been receiving public caregiver benefits.
No child trust.
No life-insurance payout under her control.
No inheritance tied to custody.
Good.
The case was exactly what it looked like:
Control.
Attachment.
Housing convenience for Sabine.
Fear.
Then one small financial detail:
Mother had used $438 from Ione’s sold belongings to pay a deposit on a desk and small bed for the condo.
For Ione.
Not stolen for herself.
Still unauthorized.
Court ordered refund.
That complicated motive.
She genuinely prepared space for Ione.
Bad plan.
Real care.
Then Ione’s attorney Elise told me:
“Do not argue that Melisande never loved her.”
“I won’t.”
“Good. The evidence says the opposite.”
Love can produce entitlement.
That was harder than hatred.
Then Mother offered to reimburse my attorney fees related to the forged-consent issue.
Her lawyer advised against admission maybe, but she offered.
Naomi said:
“Do not accept privately. Any costs are for court or settlement.”
Good.
No money buying closure.
Then I learned Mother had canceled her annual cruise to remain available for the guardianship hearing.
That meant nothing legally.
Emotionally?
It showed how completely she had reorganized her life around keeping Ione.
I felt sad.
May you like
Then angry for feeling sad.
Therapy helps with that too.
