Chapter 8 - Dulcie’s Guilt
The cousins met at Dr. Warner’s office.
Not family living room.
Both therapists coordinated.
Dulcie entered first.
Nell came with me.
Dulcie started crying before anyone spoke.
“I’m sorry.”
Nell looked confused.
“You didn’t cut it.”
“I knew.”
“You said that.”
“I knew she might.”
There.
Nell hugged her own elbows.
“Why no tell?”
Dulcie sobbed.
“She’s my mom.”
Nell went quiet.
Then:
“Did you want me ugly?”
Dulcie looked horrified.
“No!”
“Did you want model?”
Dulcie wiped face.
“I don’t want model anymore.”
That surprised Nell.
“Why?”
“Boring.”
Children.
Then Dulcie said:
“Mom gets mad if pictures pick somebody else.”
“Did they pick me?”
Dulcie nodded.
Nell looked at Dr. Warner.
“For what?”
The adults had prepared to explain.
A children's clothing/hair campaign.
Photographs.
No job accepted.
No contract valid.
Nell said:
“Because hair?”
“Partly,” I said.
Her face changed.
The braid became commercial evidence now.
Dr. Warner stepped in.
“Ainsley, slow down.”
Right.
Nell asked:
“Would they still want me?”
I hated question.
“We don’t know.”
“Can I do it?”
That surprised everyone.
Dulcie stared.
Nell continued:
“Not with Ramona.”
There.
We did not decide.
Dr. Warner said:
“That can be a later choice.”
Good.
Then Dulcie:
“If you do it, Mom will be sad.”
She froze after saying.
That sentence exposed the burden.
A ten-year-old monitoring her mother's emotions around another child's success.
Dr. Warner said:
“Your mom’s feelings are not your job.”
Dulcie looked skeptical.
That would take time.
Then Nell said:
“You can model if you want.”
“I don’t.”
“Then don’t.”
Simple.
Dulcie started crying again.
“You’re not mad?”
“I’m mad at your mom.”
Good.
No forced saintliness.
“Not me.”
Dulcie leaned forward.
“Can I hug?”
Nell nodded.
They hugged.
Short.
Then Nell pulled back.
“My hair pokes now.”
Dulcie laughed through tears.
May you like
The cousins’ relationship survived because rivalry had never belonged to them.
It had been handed down.
