Chapter 19 - THE BABY ARRIVES
The baby came at thirty-nine weeks and two days.
Not because of the fall.
No doctor linked labor to an assault two months earlier.
Natalie woke at 3:40 a.m.
Contractions.
We timed them badly.
Then better.
Hospital.
Epidural.
Hours.
More hours.
At 6:18 p.m., our daughter arrived.
Lucy Marie Mercer.
Seven pounds, four ounces.
Red face.
Dark hair that later fell out.
Loud.
Healthy.
The first person Natalie called was her sister.
Second:
Lily.
Third?
My father.
Not because everything was forgiven.
Because he was Lucy’s grandfather.
Natalie said:
“Do you want me to?”
I answered:
“Only if you want.”
She did.
Dad cried on the phone.
I had heard him cry exactly twice before.
He asked:
“Can I come?”
Natalie looked at me.
Then said:
“Tomorrow. One hour.”
He came the next afternoon.
Alone.
No Ryan.
No aunt.
No surprise photographer.
He washed his hands.
Sat.
Did not reach for the baby.
Natalie eventually asked:
“Want to hold her?”
He nodded.
She handed Lucy over.
My father looked at his granddaughter.
Then at Natalie.
“I was wrong.”
Not enough for everything.
Enough for that room.
Natalie said:
“I know.”
No hug.
May you like
No absolution.
Lucy slept through history.
