Chapter 14 - MY OWN FAILURE
My therapist asked me to write every moment Florence warned me.
I resisted.
Then did it.
January:
My pills look different.
I answered:
Pharmacies switch generics.
February:
Gwen moved my bank statement.
I answered:
She’s organizing.
March:
I want to go home.
I answered:
Repairs aren’t finished.
April:
Gwen grabs me when she’s mad.
I answered:
What do you mean grabs?
Florence showed no bruise that day.
I told myself couples in one house irritate each other.
May:
I think she wants me declared crazy.
I answered:
Grandma, stop saying that.
That line hurt most.
I silenced her because accusation threatened my marriage.
Not because evidence disproved it.
I wrote a letter to Florence.
Not apology number twenty.
Specific.
I believed the person whose story required less disruption from me.
I benefited from your dependence because it made my household simpler.
I let Gwendolyn control medication and mail because I did not want to manage them.
I took your car keys based on her report without verifying.
I treated your fear as a symptom.
Florence read it.
Then said:
“Good.”
“That’s all?”
“What do you want, a parade?”
“No.”
“Then keep doing better.”
She placed the letter in a drawer.
May you like
No absolution.
Useful.
