Chapter 17 - FOOD AND FALLS
I avoided the Sutton dining room.
I did not avoid tables.
Important.
After trauma, people often make the world smaller because small feels controllable.
I tried not to.
I ate in restaurants.
Hosted friends.
Took Iris to birthday dinners.
But when someone dropped a plate behind me, my body reacted before my mind.
Shoulders up.
Breath gone.
Hand over stomach even years after pregnancy.
Maya Chen eventually said:
“Your nervous system remembers being responsible for two bodies.”
That line helped.
I did not need to defeat the memory.
Only stop obeying it.
Iris had no memory of the dinner.
She was unborn.
Good.
She grew up knowing Delphine only as a name in restricted family stories.
Torin never told her:
Grandma loves you, Mom won’t let her see you.
That would have been manipulation.
He said:
“Grandma hurt Mom before you were born and made other choices that mean adults decided distance is safer.”
Good.
At five Iris asked:
“Did Grandma want me?”
“Yes.”
“Then why hurt Mommy?”
I answered:
“Wanting a baby is not the same as respecting the baby’s mother.”
She frowned.
“That’s dumb.”
May you like
Yes.
Children remain undefeated philosophers.
