Chapter 12 - LILY WANTS MISS BUTTON
Police kept Miss Button.
Lily asked every morning.
“When doll home?”
“Police need her.”
“She mine.”
“Yes.”
“Then police steal.”
Complicated property law for preschool.
We bought another old-style rag doll.
She rejected it.
“She no Miss Button.”
Correct.
Therapist recommended not replacing symbolically if Lily did not want.
So we stopped trying.
Instead Lily drew pictures of Miss Button.
One had a giant red eye.
Camera.
“Is that scary?”
“No.”
“What is it?”
“She saw.”
My chest tightened.
Lily had turned the doll into a witness.
Therapist carefully redirected:
“Miss Button is a doll. People saw things too.”
Why?
Because children should not learn safety depends on hidden surveillance.
Good.
Lily started checking stuffed animals for cameras.
That was not good.
We explained:
Mommy put one camera in Miss Button because she was scared.
Not every toy has one.
Adults should ask for help instead of making children carry evidence.
Clara owned that.
“I shouldn’t have let the camera stay in Lily’s doll once I knew she carried it everywhere.”
I said:
“It saved us.”
She looked at me.
“No.”
There.
Same principle.
A good outcome does not make an unsafe burden right.
The camera helped.
Clara still regretted using Lily’s comfort object as evidence storage.
She told Lily:
“Mommy put a grown-up job inside Miss Button. That wasn’t fair to you.”
Lily asked:
“Camera hurt her?”
“No.”
“Then okay.”
At four, morality is concrete.
Later she would understand more.
Clara also struggled with food.
The first time I locked the front door at night, she stared at the deadbolt.
Different lock.
Same sound.
I started saying:
“Locking outside door.”
She told me to stop.
“Don’t narrate my life.”
Fair.
May you like
Marriage after trauma is negotiation between care and overcare.
I learned slowly.
