Chapter 16 - Amelia
Jocelyn had once told me:
“You’re still married to a ghost.”
I was furious.
She was partly right.
Amelia remained everywhere.
Photographs.
Stories.
Emmett’s eyes.
I talked about her without checking whether Jocelyn had emotional room.
I expected Jocelyn to love a grieving child while assuring her she never needed to be “Mom.”
That sounded respectful.
Sometimes it left her with all responsibility and no recognized role.
That mattered.
Not as excuse.
As marital failure.
Our counselor—one discernment session only—asked:
“Declan, did you make it possible for Jocelyn to tell you she didn’t want to parent Emmett?”
I stopped.
“I thought marrying me meant she did.”
“That’s not answer.”
No.
Maybe not.
If she complained:
“He’s rude to me.”
I said:
“He lost his mother.”
If she said:
“You override me.”
I said:
“You’re too strict.”
If she said:
“I need you home.”
I said:
“After this project.”
I had been bad at hearing.
Still:
An unheard spouse can leave.
Request counseling.
Separate.
Not forge.
Not exile a child.
Both truths.
The counselor asked Jocelyn:
“If Declan had listened six months earlier, would you have done this?”
She cried.
“I don’t know.”
Correct.
No rewritten causation.
Then I ended marriage counseling.
Not because nothing to learn.
May you like
Because learning did not require reconciliation.
I filed for divorce.
