Chapter 24 - I TESTIFY ABOUT COWARDICE
Mother’s lawyer asked:
“When Ainsley told you she had been with someone during separation, did you ask who?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“I was afraid.”
“You chose ignorance?”
“Yes.”
“Did that contribute to the current confusion?”
“Yes.”
Hard.
Then:
“Did Ainsley later try to speak about Garrick?”
“Yes.”
“Did you listen?”
“Not enough.”
“Would you agree you also allowed silence around Sorrel’s biology?”
“Yes.”
Mother watched me.
No one got to put all guilt on her.
Then:
“At the campsite, did you throw Garrick’s duffel in mud?”
“Yes.”
“Was Sorrel already safe?”
“Yes.”
“Did that model good behavior?”
“No.”
“Did you later send a message encouraging relatives to question Garrick?”
“Yes.”
“Did that reach Sorrel?”
“Yes.”
“Did you regret?”
“Yes.”
Then:
“Why should this court trust you to control contact when you have also acted from anger?”
Fair.
I answered:
“It shouldn’t trust my anger. It should look at what I do when I’m regulated, what Sorrel’s therapist recommends, and whether I follow structure.”
Then:
“Would you allow contact if professionals believed it safe?”
“Yes.”
“Even if you still hated what Eudora did?”
“Yes.”
That was true now.
Then Naomi asked:
“Do you want to erase Eudora from Sorrel’s life?”
“No.”
“Do you want guaranteed unsupervised weekends today?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because Sorrel still thinks the word blood means he might lose me.”
There.
Then Dr. Lila testified.
Not about who deserved Sorrel.
About the child.
He had a stable attachment to me.
He retained affection for Eudora.
He associated blood-line language with abandonment.
He was not ready for overnight visits.
Therapeutic contact was helping.
A forced abrupt cutoff could hurt.
A forced rapid expansion could also hurt.
Balance.
Then Elise.
Same.
Then Garrick took stand.
Mother looked at him like he had betrayed the family before he said a word.
He admitted everything.
Sex with Ainsley.
DNA.
Lie to Mother.
Silence.
Campground cruelty.
Then Mother’s lawyer asked:
“Do you love Sorrel?”
Garrick stared.
“I care what happens to him.”
“Not my question.”
Long pause.
“I don’t know what word I earned.”
That was probably the most honest answer possible.
Then:
“Do you support Bramwell as father?”
“Yes.”
“Do you support court-ordered visitation for Eudora?”
“I support therapy and whatever protects Sorrel from being ranked by blood again.”
May you like
Mother looked down.
The family ideology had finally lost its last defender.
