Chapter 18 - THE CAMPING RELATIVES TESTIFY
The visitation evaluator interviewed relatives from the campsite.
Not because family opinions determine rights.
Because they witnessed conduct.
Dean:
Eudora had complained before Bramwell arrived that Sorrel should not sleep in the same group area as “the real grandkids.”
Marjorie:
Garrick told Eudora to “leave it alone” once.
Then later joined.
Another cousin:
Eudora collapsed the tent after Sorrel said he wanted to sleep near cousins.
No physical attack.
Deliberate humiliation.
Then after Bramwell returned:
Garrick’s “not blood” line.
Clear.
Then my duffel throw.
Also clear.
Evaluator wrote:
All principal adults demonstrated poor conflict regulation.
That hurt.
Mother:
Humiliated child.
Garrick:
Reinforced exclusion.
Me:
Retaliatory property destruction.
Then:
However, Bramwell immediately removed Sorrel from environment and has since engaged in treatment and protective planning.
Good.
Mother has also engaged in treatment but continues to seek guaranteed access as reassurance against relational loss.
Exactly.
Then Sorrel’s reactions.
Nightmares decreased.
He stopped asking whether I was “fake Dad.”
He still asked about Garrick sometimes.
One day:
“Did Uncle know when I baby?”
“Yes.”
“Did he hold me?”
I looked through photos.
Garrick had held him twice.
One Christmas.
One barbecue.
Sorrel stared.
“Why not dad?”
“Because he and Mom agreed I would be your dad, and he did not take a parenting role.”
“Did you know?”
“No.”
“That weird.”
“Yes.”
He accepted.
Children can survive weird if adults stop making it shameful.
Then:
“Can Uncle still be uncle?”
“Yes.”
“That funny.”
“Yes.”
He laughed.
Good.
Then Mother’s visit progressed to a supervised park walk.
No gifts.
No blood talk.
She and Sorrel collected pinecones.
At one point a stranger said:
“What a cute grandson.”
Mother answered:
“Thank you.”
Nothing else.
No:
biological grandson.
Progress.
Then she asked to extend from one hour to two.
Evaluator approved one trial.
I hated agreeing.
Then asked myself:
Did I oppose because unsafe or because angry?
Mostly angry.
I approved.
That was my difficult work.
May you like
Not forgiving.
Separating my hurt from Sorrel’s needs.
