Chapter 19 - CELESTINE’S FIRST LETTER
Celestine wrote from prison when Poppy was eighteen.
The letter came through her attorney.
Addressed to me.
For Poppy, if you believe she should read it.
Good.
No direct violation.
I asked Poppy.
She said:
“Not now.”
We stored it.
At twenty-one:
“Yes.”
She read alone first.
Then handed it to me.
Celestine wrote:
I threatened you because I was angry at a child for being the place Mara trusted more than me.
That sentence stopped Poppy.
Then:
I burned the doll because I believed destroying evidence could destroy what I had done.
Good.
Then:
Your mother did not cause my choices by investigating me.
Important.
Then:
I told myself I was only trying to scare her. That was true, but it was never a defense.
Better.
Then the line I feared:
I loved your mother.
Poppy closed her eyes.
Later:
“I hate that.”
“Why?”
“Because I want bad people not to love anyone.”
“I know.”
“Did she love Mom?”
“I think so.”
“Then love is useless.”
“No.”
I took time.
“Love without honesty, restraint, and respect can become dangerous. That doesn’t make love useless.”
Poppy rolled her eyes.
“Therapy sentence.”
“Absolutely.”
She kept the letter.
Did not answer.
A year later she sent one sentence through counsel:
I remember the fire more than I remember you.
Celestine replied:
I understand.
May you like
No more.
That restraint mattered.
