Chapter 19 - THE FIRST LETTER
Gloriana wrote Tirzah every birthday.
Through counsel.
At six:
I miss you.
Unread.
At seven:
I hope you are well.
Unread.
At eight:
I am sorry dinner became a source of fear.
Too vague.
Unread.
At eleven, Tirzah asked:
“Can I see one?”
We chose the latest with Dr. Chen’s guidance.
Gloriana wrote:
I made you work for food because I wanted obedience from your father and because controlling your routine made me feel I still mattered.
Tirzah stopped.
“That’s honest.”
“Yes.”
Then:
I told myself you were not starving because you ate at school and because I usually fed you eventually. That was how I made cruelty sound reasonable to myself.
I had to look away.
Then:
You did not cause me to lose authority. Your grandfather designed my authority to end. I blamed a child for a rule created by adults.
Tirzah read the rest alone.
“Do I have to write back?”
“No.”
She didn’t.
At thirteen, she sent one sentence:
I remember being hungry.
Gloriana replied:
I know.
Nothing else.
Good.
No demand for forgiveness.
May you like
No explanation.
Sometimes restraint is repentance.
