Chapter 13 - THE POT
I pleaded guilty to a reduced misdemeanor reckless-conduct offense.
The prosecutor acknowledged:
I threw the pot at the floor, not Vivian’s body.
Still dangerous.
Hot food.
Hard metal.
Children nearby.
I accepted:
Community service.
Anger-management counseling.
Restitution for Vivian’s medical bill.
No contact except litigation.
Eligible later for sealing if conditions completed.
One reporter asked:
“Do you regret defending your mother?”
I answered:
“I regret throwing the pot. Taking my mother and children out of that house was the right decision.”
Both.
No contradiction.
In therapy I said:
“I wanted Vivian to feel afraid.”
My counselor asked:
“Why?”
“Because Mom looked afraid.”
“Did transferring fear make Margaret safer?”
“No.”
“What did?”
“Leaving.”
“Police?”
“Yes.”
“Records?”
“Yes.”
“Lawyers?”
“Annoyingly.”
She smiled.
I did not become calm overnight.
But I stopped romanticizing the throw.
That helped Ella? No.
Emma and Oliver were too young to remember details maybe.
Still, someday they might see the video.
The living-room camera captured part.
I wanted them to know:
Mom was furious.
Mom was wrong to throw.
Mom was right to leave.
Children deserve distinctions.
Meanwhile, Ryan’s criminal case grew.
Signature copying.
Misuse of Margaret’s power of attorney.
Attempted fraudulent home-equity application.
VBM reimbursement conspiracy.
Not physical elder assault beyond unclear pantry incident.
The prosecutor did not overreach.
Good.
Ryan offered a plea:
Unauthorized financial use.
Probation.
Restitution.
No fraud admission involving the home-equity application.
Rejected initially.
Evidence of copied signature was strong.
Then Ryan’s employer fired him.
Not because of charges alone?
Their policy allowed suspension.
An internal audit found he had also submitted personal club expenses as business development costs.
$18,000 over two years.
Separate.
Smaller.
Pattern.
He repaid.
Company terminated.
Ryan’s income collapsed.
For the first time, the phrase I just gave you back the life you can afford became literally true.
I felt satisfaction.
Then shame.
Rachel said:
“You are allowed feelings. Do not build custody strategy around them.”
Good.
Ryan moved into a modest apartment.
Sold his luxury SUV because payments were unaffordable.
He still attended every supervised visit.
Never missed.
That mattered.
He asked for expanded parenting time.
The evaluator recommended:
Not yet.
He needed to demonstrate stable housing, treatment, and accountability.
No finding he was dangerous to toddlers physically.
But concerns about coercive family systems remained.
Then he wrote me:
I need you to understand I never wanted Margaret hurt.
I answered:
Then why did you keep using her?
May you like
No reply.
The question was becoming the center of his case.
