Chapter 23 - WHAT REENA WANTED
Before permanency hearing, Reena requested mediation.
I agreed.
Remote video due incarceration.
No children.
Mediator.
Lawyers.
CPS.
Reena looked tired.
She began:
“I don’t want them to think I gave them away.”
I said:
“They won’t.”
“How can you know?”
“Because I won’t tell them that.”
She looked at me.
“You hate me.”
“I don’t know what I feel.”
“You blamed me for Aaron.”
“I blamed you for a lot before I knew facts.”
“Do you still?”
“Yes, for what you did.”
She nodded.
Then:
“If I agree to permanent guardianship, will you keep me from them later?”
“Not if contact is safe and court allows.”
“Will you tell them I’m their mom?”
“Yes.”
“Will you keep Aaron’s pictures?”
“They already have them.”
That hurt her.
Her eyes filled.
“Will there be pictures of me?”
“If kids want.”
“Peter.”
I waited.
“I am asking if you will erase me.”
“No.”
The room quieted.
Then I said:
“But I will not guarantee access because you are their mother.”
She flinched.
“Safety first.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
She looked down.
“More than I did.”
Then her fear emerged.
“I think they’ll love you more.”
There.
Not court.
Not rights.
Love.
I answered:
“That is not a problem we solve by moving them.”
She cried.
“I know.”
Then:
“I want a chance to be their mother again.”
“You are their mother.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Yes.”
Caregiving.
School mornings.
Bedtime.
Maybe someday.
Could permanent guardianship allow modification if substantial change?
Yes.
But burden.
Reena hated.
Mediator asked:
“What do you want for Drew and Lily if your recovery takes longer than you hope?”
She closed eyes.
“Stability.”
“Where are they stable?”
“With Peter.”
There.
Then:
“What are you afraid permanent guardianship says about you?”
“That I failed.”
Mediator:
“Did you?”
Reena cried.
“Yes.”
Hard.
Then:
“Can a legal document change that?”
“No.”
“Can refusing it?”
Silence.
No.
At end, she did not consent yet.
But shifted.
Then she asked me privately through mediator:
“Would you let them call me from Aaron’s grave day?”
Strange.
I said:
“If they want.”
No weaponizing grief.
Then her mother joined second mediation.
She told Reena:
“Let them stop waiting.”
That broke her.
Reena whispered:
“Mom.”
Her mother:
“You can still work toward them. But they should not live in maybe.”
That was exactly.
Reena asked for overnight to think.
Next morning:
She agreed to permanent guardianship with structured therapeutic contact and right to petition modification after release only upon substantial evidence of safety and child readiness.
Not automatic reunification.
Court still had to approve.
We were close.
Then CPS said:
Because convictions and severity, agency wanted twelve months of demonstrated stability after release before any unsupervised contact.
Reena accepted.
That mattered more than words.
Then Drew was asked by guardian ad litem:
“What do you want?”
Age seven, preference not decisive.
He said:
“I want to live with Uncle Peter.”
“Do you want to see Mom?”
“Yes, but not basement.”
Clear.
Lily too young for formal preference.
She called my house home.
Called Reena Mommy.
Both.
No contradiction.
The final hearing would formalize.
But first, Reena had one last opportunity to withdraw agreement in court.
May you like
The judge would ask directly.
That was the family climax.
